Das hätte ich nicht gedacht! Da befinden wir uns in so bierernsten Zeiten, auf dem absoluten Gefrierpunkt politischer Verhandlungen in Europa, und dann ist da plötzlich dieser herzerwärmende Tweet des European Parliament.
Ist das nicht putzig? Ein Gremium, das seit Jahren von innen wie außen lauthals für seine bürokratische Kälte kritisiert wird, will jetzt mit Hilfe von Musik die Liebe seiner Bürger zurückerobern. Geben wir der Spotify-Liste mit dem ulkigen Titel „Ice ice baby: enjoy winter, Europe!“ also eine Chance.
Der erste Blick offenbart eine wilde Sammlung von Songs mit den Namen „Snow“ „Winter“ oder „December“ im Titel. Genrevielfalt und Reihenfolge der Lieder sind so willkürlich, dass man fast befürchtet, sie seien das Ergebnis eines demokratischen Prozesses. Eine Chet Baker Ballade hinter Hip-Hop von Vanilla Ice, Red Hot Chilli Peppers neben Nada Surf.
„Yo, VIP, let’s kick it!“ rappt Vanilla Ice im ersten Track. Das ist lustig, angesichts der aktuellen Situation in Europa, in der very important Politiker mit verbalen Fußtritten regelmäßig kommunikative Eiszeiten provozieren. Chet Baker stellt daraufhin in einer kleinen Grey December-Depression fest, dass früher alles besser war, nachdem im ersten Vers des Lieds PEGIDA aufmarschiert ist: „Shadows pass my window. Dark and lonely forms.“ Damit die Stimmung nicht kippt, umwabert einen anschließend erstmal etwas Winter-Kitsch. The Doors tanzen gegen die Kälte an, während Gordon Lightfood in Song For A Winter’s Night zum Schmusen vor dem Kamin einlädt.
Und dann kommt der Knaller! Heavy-Metal von Black Sabbath scheucht einen vom Sofa auf und Ozzy Osbourne bringt in Snowblind die Erklärung für das ganze Gezeter in der EU-Politik: „Feeling happy in my vein, Icicles within my brain, Cocaine.“ Wer Frauke Petrys abstruse Horror-Visionen in etwaigen Talkshows verfolgt hat, ahnte ja schon länger, dass da Drogen im Spiel sein müssen.

Kokst sie? AfD-Politikerin Petry.
Und was die Sache mit den Flüchtlingen angeht, überlässt das EU-Parlament es den Rolling Stones in Winter, die richtigen Worte zu finden. Wirklich kalt war er, dieser Winter, stellen sie da fest. Die (Nächsten-) Liebe ist eingefroren und mit ihr leider auch die Hoffnungen. Mit warmen Worten wird zwar nicht gespart, dafür an anderer Stelle, oder wie die Stones es sagen: „Sometimes I wanna wrap my coat around you, sometimes I wanna but I can’t afford you.“
Soviel belustigende Ehrlichkeit steht dem sonst so drögen EU-Parlament wirklich gut. Ich kann es kaum erwarten, die Frühlings-Playlist zu bekommen. Passende Musik gäbe es ja, etwa The Rite of Spring von Igor Strawinsky oder Ernten was wir säen von den Fantastischen Vier.
Voilà! Die grandiose Winter-Playlist des EU-Parlaments zum nachhören…
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